Say Yes to Which Dress?

"You don't alter Vera to fit you,
you alter yourself to fit Vera."

Oh, it's a biggie. Looking for the dress can be hard for the bride and the bridesmaids. I'm going to say this quick thing about the bride's gown, and I'll move onto the dress shopping for the bridesmaids.

A lot of people want to give the bride input about her dress, and it's not any different for my friend. There are two sides to this coin. One, it's good to have input because we can get blinded by how we actually look in something. So it's all the more important to make sure that the bridal gown emphasizes the bride's assets. Is it any wonder women shop together? On the other hand, too much input can confuse the bride and actually make the whole wedding gown shopping experience a drag.

When looking for a wedding gown, I suggest to bring these people:
1. Someone you trust completely to be there for you in times of self-doubt or when you need an ally
2. Someone who will tell you the truth (in love and in brutal honesty), whether you want to hear it or not
3. Someone who knows your style and fashion sense to remind you what your style is, back up your choices, or point out what you don't like
4. Someone who can diffuse high pressure situations because emotions and arguments can run high

Sometimes, all those people are actually found in one person (a best friend, a sibling, a parent, or even the fiance). Lucky you.

J'adore the Alfred Angelo Disney bridal gowns!

Now onto the bridesmaid dresses. It's part of the MOH's duties to help the bridesmaids shop for their dresses. If only we had more time. This is a big white wedding, emphasis on the big. There are so many bridesmaids to coordinate. The budget? Under $100. Some are willing to spend more, but not everyone is down for that. It would be easier if they can have different dresses, but in the same color. But here's the clincher. There are multiple wedding colors. Hence, uniformity in everything else is crucial so it won't look like the rainbow threw up on the wedding party.

On the plus side, I'm wearing a totally different dress color, and I've got that checked off the list. Anyway, we're looking for a floor-length dress, too, which means extra cost to get it hemmed. With a budget of under $100, we're looking for dresses on the rack or on sale/clearance. And if we look online, we want free shipping and an easy return policy (if not free returns). As the MOH, I love helping the bride and I'm not complaining about the duties. I'm complaining about the girls! Okay, one girl.

Getting everyone going is hard work. Then, there is always that bridesmaid who disagrees with everything. Every wedding party has her. Just watch TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids." There's always that picky girl who is always the last holdout. So what do you do about that girl?

What the bride wants, the bride gets. Nobody wants a broken friendship, but it's ultimately the bride's final decision. What she wants the bridesmaids to wear, the bridesmaids will wear. Some chismosas act like they're doing the bride a favor by being in her wedding. They act like it's all about them instead of the bride. Makes me want to slap 'em silly. Instead, it's tough love and tough luck for those girls. Either they suck it up or they're out. The sad part though, is sometimes that girl is the bride's sister. Yuck.

So you can't kick out the bride's sister? Give her a different dress, with the bride's agreement of course. With a sibling, the distinction can be made without it looking like a faux pas.

If it's just any other bridesmaid, sit down and talk. The lines of communication need to clear up. So sit down with that girl and find out what her disagreements really are. Many complaints arise from self-consciousness or doubt. They may not like the style of a dress because they think it makes them look fat, or because they're self-conscious about a body part. They need a boost of self-esteem, and often times, that comes from seeing ourselves in the eyes of our friends. They say we are our own worst critics. We need friends to encourage us and make us see the beauty they see in us.

Make the holdout look for dress options. Not all of us uses a wedding consultant to help look for bridesmaid dresses because those women always give you the expensive options. Hey, they have a job to do. Anyway, when looking for dresses yourself, and that girl or the holdout is giving you problems, make her look for dress options. It's a hard job because there are many preferences to meet: style, color, length, price, etc. Sometimes, a cold dose of reality can make the holdout turn around.

What have you done with uncooperative bridesmaids? Let us know!